How to make fantasies and day dreams into reality

How to make fantasies and day dreams into reality

Photo by digitalart. Published on 11 July 2011

Many of us have reoccurring day dreams or fantasies.  We really need to look into them to find out what the touch stone is. Is it just a day dream or is there something we feel we’re missing or would like more of.  The other way fantasies often come in to play is when we have a dream we do not see as attainable.  Some day dreams or fantasies are just for fun but others actually show us what we truly desire.

One of my on going day dreams used to be that I was a hero.  This was fun and let me know I needed to get using my abilities to do some good. 

Lately I have decided to move to Kelowna, BC.  My immediate response was a fantasy where someone bought the house we’re in, bought all our stuff, and essentially paid for us to move to Kelowna.  The problem with this fantasy is that it will most likely not occur on its own, and it interferes with reality.  

Yes, this would be great.  Now how do I make it happen?  What can I do instead to reach the same goals?

It turns out the key to making fantasies or day dreams reality is two fold.  You may not even need to do both parts.  One find out what it is you really want.  Two look at what the fantasy is accomplishing and find another way to do it.

One: What is the touch stone?  What do you really want; is it freedom, adventure, security, recognition, or something more concrete a skate board, a trip, to move some where else?  Look at the dream and find out what it is you really need, so you can change it from a dream to a goal.

Two:  What is the fantasy accomplishing?  My most recent fantasy made a huge change that could be complicated, easy.  It did shine a light on things I need to consider.  The day dream took many steps and made them into a few simple ones. 

When things seem overwhelming or impossible we can fantasize about them, or we can break them down.  Take the day dream and find out what we want or need, then break it down to find out how to get it.  Now chances are no one will suddenly appear out of thin air and give me what I want.  If, however, I know what I need I can find an exchange that works.

I do have an article on goal setting here.   For day dreams however it goes back to the steps.  What needs to happen to get what you want?  You need to meet someone, develop some skill, take a first step.  Many things that seem impossible are not.  They just take longer to accomplish.  The key is to step away from a fantasy and look at how to get there realistically.  Don’t give up.

Look at the big steps, and then break those down to smaller and smaller steps till you have a doable starting place.  Spend time focusing on your goal or dream and be open to other opportunities but take action as well.  You may need to do research or take a step back to believe you can get what you’re truly after.  It is worth it because those dreams and fantasies are telling you something.  Break it down to little bits to make it happen, search to find other ways to make it happen,  but seriously make it happen.

Having trouble following a plan or sticking to a goal? Then this is for you.

By Master isolated images, published on 09 May 2014

How to follow through on your plans:

1.      Make it uncomfortable not to.  If you end up watching TV, surfing the net, or meandering when you have something to do… don’t.  Check in and find out what you do when you’re not following your plans, or fulfilling your goals, and say no to it.  Make a deal with yourself that you can do the thing, you want to do, to distract yourself, after you've met your goal for the day.  I am a master at distractions, now I just need to become the master of them.

2.      Review (briefly) why you have the plan or want to meet the goal.  What’s the end game?  If the out come is your own business, losing weight, being healthier what does that look like?  What are the key benefits of success?  Put up a picture or word related to said success and refer back to it.

3.      Keep track.  Make a calendar or check list to mark each part of the plan.  Having a list to cross out, or a box to check, can help you build on your success.  Consider keeping the list somewhere public or out in the open in your home or office so others can see it as further motivation.

4.      Give yourself consequences.  If you don’t follow through and complete your goals, and plans you have to do something big and unpleasant.  It would be great if we could just go with natural consequences but that’s not always enough.  On the other hand you can have a positive consequence or reward if you succeed.  If you lose the weight you can get new clothes, if you meet you’re business goal you can do something to celebrate.

 

5.      Try to pin down those underlying thoughts or fears that are keeping you from doing what you’ve decided you want to do.  Play the ‘what if’ game.  What happens if I do this?  When you get an answer continue playing ‘what if that happens’ until you get to the base of it.  That’s the problem you need to address.  It may be realistic but is often not.

 

6.      Consider using affirmations and or visualizations.    Picture the goal achieved, or plan fulfilled.  Put emotion into it.  See or speak of it as if it is achieved.  Other affirmations can be found on the net.

7.      Some of us do not naturally follow plans, or recipes, or steps planned out in advance.  It is a challenge to work in a structured environment, so keep some flexibility in your plans build in some unstructured time. 

8.      Most people are now a little bit familiar with S.M.A.R.T. goals.  That is to make sure your goal is

a.       Specific include how, when, what, why, even who else is included.

b.       Measurable how will you know when you get there?

c.       Attainable is it realistic?  Challenging is good unrealistic not so much.

d.      Relevant is it really what you want and how you want to do it.

e.       Timed or Timely How long will it take and is now the time to do it?

9.      Look at two steps forward one step back not as a disappointment but more like a cha cha.  The point is not to let set backs completely derail you.  It’s okay to fall down as long as you get back up.  When kids are learning to walk they fall down… a lot.  Still most of us got back up enough that we learned to walk.  Set backs and obstacles will happen, get back on track when you can.

10.  If…Then your plan.  If I have to take someone to an appointment then I will reschedule this activity for this time and day.  If I eat a pie while I am to be avoiding carbs I have to eat a few meals of this and miss my cheat day.  If it storms when I’m to go for a walk I will go on the treadmill, or go for a walk later.  Plan for obstacles for there will be some.

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10 things to do on a rainy day

10 top things to do on a rainy day:

By Idea go, published on 05 May 2011
Stock Image - image ID: 10040446

It’s finally Spring.  Here in Manitoba Spring was a little late in coming as it started out with snow storms and several feet of snow with even higher snow drifts.  Now that Spring is here so is the rain and overcast skies reminiscent of Vancouver or Victoria.  Now the rain is great, it gets rid of the snow and dirt and helps along mother natures greenery but a rainy day can sometimes be a dreary day.  Here are some great ways to enjoy a rainy day.

1.  A classic sitting by a window with a cozy blanket and reading.  Maybe with a warm drink maybe not it all depends on you.
2.  It is also a great day for baking and/or trying some spicy foods.  The warm scents and smells can be enriched by the dampness in the air.
3.  Visit with a friend or friends or even family members.  It’s a great time for playing games or just chatting.
4.  Go for a walk in the rain either a rain coat or umbrella will help you stay warm.  If it’s in the summer and warm enough go without the rain coat or umbrella.  The first will tend to be a quieter more introspective walk while the latter is celebratory energizing and fun.
5.  Do a craft.  My favorite new thing is making chalkboard paint and home made chalk boards.  You can use any type of acrylic paint and mix it 8 parts to 1 part Powdered, non-sanded tile grout.  Use a sponge brush to apply to different sizes and shapes of bases including different shaped plaques, use the backing in a picture frame then add the frame (without the glass of course), you can paint directly to a wall or even to clean wine bottles.  Let the paint ‘cure’ for three days, then condition what you’ve painted by covering it with chalk.  You can use a piece of chalk sideways to do the most coverage fastest.  Then wipe the chalk board/wall/bottle with a slightly damp cloth ad your ready to go.
6.  Electronics.  If you wanted a great day to go on the computer, use your game console, or watch television this is it. 
7.  Spring cleaning time.  If you feel like you’re stuck inside, you’re not, but if you feel that way you may notice things are not where and how you would like them.  Sorting furniture or cleaning one room or another is great right now because you’ll still be inside to enjoy it.  Put on some music and get to it.
8. Take care of yourself, do something special like a manicure, or home made facial, or deep conditioner.  You can make this deep conditioner with things from your kitchen.  Just mix 2 parts coconut oil to one part virgin olive oil and a couple of drops of tea tree or another essential oil.  You can even use it on your moustache or beard.  Keep the extra is a sealed container for next time. 
9.  Go to an indoor pool, or gym.
10.  Do errands.  Rain and storms bring energy in the air and a freshness that can’t be beat.  It’s also more fun going in some where if you’re getting out of the rain.

Fear and Living Well

Source: © Ciprian.d | Stock Free Images

Fear and Living Well

Fear and living well

Maybe you want to lose weight, or write, or sing, or have more friends. Say someone has wanted to make life changes for a while. It’s like wanting to go swimming. They go to the pool, they get changed, shower before entering the pool, then sit on the side waiting to go in. The longer they wait the colder they get, the deeper the pool looks and the harder it is to go in so eventually they go to the hot tub then leave because they can try again the next day. The desire keeps them going but the fear stops them from going in till eventually they don’t even want to go anymore.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles to living a healthy life. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are younot to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world” (Nelson Mendala) Its true. We can be afraid of success, of being our healthiest selves. Maybe we feel unworthy, maybe we’re afraid of the commitment or of what else may be expected of us, or maybe we’re afraid we’ll do everything right and still fail or lose it all.

Fear can be seen as False evidence appearing real. Is what you’re afraid of realistic? What could be the absolute worse thing that happens? Really? Could you really forget to swim, lose your swimsuit, be humiliated, and drowned because the lifeguard is to busy laughing at you? Check the odds, check the facts, check out what you could actually live through.

You may notice fear is of the future. We are not afraid of what’s happening, we are afraid of what might happen. We are afraid of what we can imagine happening or relate something from our past that happened and could happen again. Did you get humiliated at the pool before, are you afraid it might happen again even though you’re older, wiser, more prepared? What can happen in the future is not what is happening now. Take one step at a time.

Fear may be left over from the past. Something left a scar on the inside. In that case you may need to feel it and let it go. Do a ritual; write the story and burn it. Find a way to let it go. Louise Hay has suggested an affirmation “I forgive myself, I forgive everyone else, I release the past.” Say it as many times as you need let yourself heal and go on.

Fear can be a good thing. It can tell you your boundaries. Fear says be care full, be aware. It can show you where you need to proceed cautiously. In that case you may need someone to go swimming with you or you might need to start in the shallow end. On the other hand you can try and change this fear to excitement. Going down a waterslide or butterflies in your stomach going back into the water, fun!

Sometimes our fear can present as distractions or sabotages. I need to pick up the dry cleaning before I go, or I just ate a cake so I can’t go swimming now. For these you need planning and awareness. Schedule it in. Plan it out. Be aware when you start going off track. Even if you mess up and fail once or twice or twenty times you can still learn and get back to the plan man. Failure is just learning.

Fear can be a great teacher but a horrible master. Let your fear of never going swimming again, of not fulfilling your lives ambitions and dreams overcome your fear of doing what you know you want to do. What are the consequences of not living a healthy live? Can you let the fear of those consequences push you into action? Go to the pool and get in, keep at it, and one day you’ll notice there’s not so much fear anymore and you’re actually swimming.

*Don’t go in the deep end if you can’t swim. Swimming is a metaphor and I don’t want anyone to drown. Take reasonable precautions and if extreme fear is controlling your life you may want to see a professional for help.

Who believes in Angels

Source: © Jacetan | Stock Free Images

Who Believes in Angels?

There are many religions that feature angels. There are many who are not religious at all, but still believe in Angels. Angels are spirits, but it is not because they are spirits that they are angels. They become angels when they are sent. ~Augustine

Angels are defined as spirits or entities attached to the divine come to guide and help us. One fascinating thing about angels is how often they show up in different religions that do not think themselves compatible.

Over half of those in US and Canada believe an Angel has protected them. . In the last number of years belief in angels has been growing; over 3/4s of all teens believe in Angels.

In the Baha’i Faith angels are beings, people who have passed their human limitations and been given spiritual traits.

In Zoroastrianism each individual has a guardian angel and various aspects of God and divine creation, become angels.

While in Hinduism there are the traditional angels called Gandharvas and devas which are the personifications of natural elements.

In Christianity there are many examples of angels: primarily as messengers and, those with specific jobs, but also as personal guardians. Christianity is one of the few religions that have an angel gone rouge and become a demon or the devil.

Angels are not as prevalent in Judaism through they and their hierarchy are mentioned.

The Kabala shows angels as temporary beings brought into the world to complete a task. When the task is done so is the Angel.

Many nontraditional religions refer to spirit guides or helpers who are often seen as Angels or to have the same properties as angels only with different names.

According to Mormons angels have many tasks as messengers, teachers, helpers and so forth.

With Sikhism the angels are there to help in the liberation and judgment of the soul that it may ultimately join with the divine.

In the Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Persian records of Angels there are common histories and beginnings.

Both the Christians and Muslims believe in seven archangels. Showing there are many shared and varied believes in Angels.

Currently there are angels on television, in movies, on websites, displayed as key chains, window and wall ornaments and cards aplenty. From the third century to 2013 we long to be near and hear from angels in many different guises and from many different religious backgrounds

Named after an Angel

I named my daughter after a Angel

I named my eldest daughter Ariel meaning lioness of God. Then, the little mermaid movie came out. No longer was my daughters name associated with the Angel Ariel but now it is linked with the Cartoon mermaid Ariel.

There was a time when Religion was center to society and to life. There was a time when Angels were to be feared as God was considered wrathful and judgemental. Now we see angels with a lighter sense of being. Not to be afraid of but graced by. Ariel was an angel of protection. We often see angels now as guardians and protectors as well as messengers and beings to put our spirits at ease.

There are many stories of Angels giving signs to help a grieving soul but we’ll focus now on Angels of protection and guardian angels such as the ones protecting my own Ariel.

There are many instances of people hearing voices, having gut feelings, or even dreams telling them to not go somewhere to stop or turn around and many of these stories are followed up by what would have happened if they had not listened.

One young woman woke suddenly with a sense her father, a truck driver would be killed while driving by wood going through his front window. She franticly called her mom, who then called her dad. The truck driver pulled to the side of the road to take the call and stayed there several minutes. When he got up the road a few miles he saw that a logging truck had just lost its load across the highway. They have no doubt the angels saved his life.

Many other instances are not nearly so dramatic. A voice says turn here or don’t go there today and when we don’t listen we see the consequences. Some signs are subtle, while others are as loud as having a person speaking directly in our ears.

One woman related walking from collage while being focused on what happened in class rather then what was happening around her. She was just about to step out onto the street when she felt a hand grab her and pull her back. Startled she looked up to see a cab race by right in front of her. She looked back to thank whoever had helped her out. Only when she looked back she was alone on the street.

I hope my daughter learns to love and appreciate the angels as these people have. It may take time to listen but the angels have much to say to help and protect us.

Have you had any experiences with angels? Believe in them or not? I would love to know what you think or feel.

Happiness Series #5 Learning

Happiness Series #5

Life long learning will increase your lifespan

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Source: By artur84, published on 23 March 2013

Learning

Learning can be a great sense of happiness and joy. People who consider themselves life long learners show greater satisfaction in life and have longer lives. Learning keeps your mind alert and young. It is never to late for your brain to create new pathways. There is great satisfaction is acquiring a new skill, language, or ability. It also shows that couples who have new experiences together are closer and more satisfied in their relationships.

Often people relate learning to school, which may not have been a lot of fun. There are many ways to learn and you need to find what works for you. What are you interested in? Whether you want to learn a new recipe or a new language there are opportunities all around. You don’t have to stick with a teacher you hate or in a class that doesn’t matter to you.

You can learn by helping a friend tear an engine down, or reading psychology today, or using one of the many online forums. If you want to learn cooking there are cooking classes (do you like being part of a group?), cooking shows (you want to learn by watching), cooking recipes or instructions on line, cooking with a loved one is another great way to learn. D0 what works for you.

Continuous learning keeps are minds fresh, vital, and growing. It will help with the dreaded memory loss and keep you interested in new things. Finding things to learn and stay interested in can greatly increase your happiness. There is also the added satisfaction of accomplishing something new.

If you are part of a family or a couple, learning and trying new things together will help build bonds. It has been shown that people who spend their money on experiences rather then things show a greater sense of satisfaction. As mentioned previously learning something with someone is a great way to bond and learn more about them.

The satisfaction of learning something new is an ongoing sense of happiness. Not to mention the fun of having a new skill, ability, or hobby. Show off have fun with it. It’s okay to mess up while your learning again have fun with it. Meeting and overcoming a challenge can give a great sense of accomplishment and keep you feeling vital.

Learning Recap

1. Learning is good for you and a lot of fun

2. Find the best way for you to learn is it listening, reading, watching videos, doing, or just by figuring it out yourself.

3. There are many opportunities for learning

4. Learning with someone is a great way to bond and build memories.

5. It’s great to have a sense of satisfaction and a new skill or hobby.